Billy
boaj is applying for a job as a signalman for the local railroad,
and is told to meet the inspector at the signal box.
The inspector decides to give Billy a pop quiz, asking, "What
would you do if you realized that two trains were heading towards
each other on the same track?"
Billy says, "I would switch one train to another track."
"What if the lever broke?" asked the inspector. "Then
I'd dash down out of the signal box," said Billy, "and
I'd use the manual lever over there."
"What
if that had been struck by lightning?" challenges the inspector.
"Then,"
the boaj continues, "I'd run back into the signal box and
phone the next signal box."
"What
if the phone was busy?" "Well in that case," insisted
Billy, "I'd run to the street level and use the public phone
near the station".
"What
if that one was vandalized?"
"Oh
well,” says Billy, “in that case I'd run into the
village and get my uncle Buster."
Puzzled
the inspector asks, "Why would you do that?", "Because
Buster’s never seen a train crash."
A painting contractor
was speaking with a woman about her job. In the first room she
said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down
and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "GREEN
SIDE UP!" In the second room she told the painter she would
like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked
to the window, opened it, and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"
The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing. In the third
room she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The
painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled
"GREEN SIDE UP!"
The
lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling 'green side
up'?"
"I'm sorry," came the reply. "But I have a crew
of boajes laying sod across the street.
A
boaj is asked by his friend, "Has your son decided what he
wants to
be when he grows up?"
"Yes,
he wants to be a garbage collector," replied the boaj father.
His
friend thought for a moment and responded, "That's a rather
strange
ambition to have for a career."
"Well,"
said the boaj, "he thinks that garbage collectors only work
on Tuesdays!"
A
couple of boajes in a pickup truck drove into a
lumberyard. One of the boajes walked into the office and said,
"We need some four-by-twos." The clerk said, "You
mean two-by-fours, don't you?" The boaj said, "I'll
go check," and went back to the truck. He returned A minute
later and said, "Yeah, I meant two-by-fours."
"All
right. How long do you need them?" The boaj paused for a
minute and said, "Uh... I'd better go check."
After a while, the boaj returned to the office and said, "A
long time. We're gonna build a house."
An
airline captain was breaking in a new boaj flight attendant. The
route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their
arrival, the captain showed the flight attendant the best place
for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.
The
next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's
route, he noticed the new flight attendant was missing. He knew
which room he was in at the hotel and called him up wondering
what happened. He answered the phone, crying, and said he couldn't
get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?"
the captain asked, "Why not?"
The
flight attendant replied: "There are only three doors in
here," he sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet,
and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"
The
local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so a Boaj went in to try
out for the job. After a series of questions that the Boaj did
not do very well on, the sheriff asked in desperation one final
question: "Now Boaj, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham
Lincoln?"
The
Boaj looked a little surprised himself, then thought really hard
for a minute and finally admitted, "I don't know." "Well,
why don't you go home and work on that one for a while?"
So,
the Boaj wandered over to the barbershop where his pals were waiting
to hear the results of the interview. The Boaj was exultant. "It
went great! First day on the job and I'm already working on a
murder case!"
A
fellow stopped at a rural gas station and, after filling his tank,
he paid the bill and bought a soft drink. He stood by his car
to drink his cola, and he watched a couple of boajes working along
the roadside.
One
boaj would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then move on.
The other boaj came along behind and filled in the hole. While
one was digging a new hole, the other was 25 feet behind filling
in the old. The boajes worked right past the fellow with the soft
drink and went on down the road.
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